Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Must Be Something In The Northern Colorado Water.

After ten years of living in Denver, I can only tell you that the state of Colorado is fucking nuts most of the time. You've got every evangelical congregating in Colorado Springs (and don't forget the stage parents at the Olympic compound there too), the kinda-wacky frontier folk on the Western Slope, Boulder's ever-growing species of eternal hippie, and the cow-dung scented air that hangs over Greeley and Fort Collins.

You likely remember last year's incident at the U. of Northern Colorado in Greeley, where the backup punter stabbed the starter in order to get his spot on the first team. Now, the fine student-athletes at Colorado State in Ft. Collins are getting kinda crazy, as basketball player Xavier Kilby is accused of firing a weapon at a teammate's head:

Police received a report about 2:54 a.m. Sunday of a weapon being discharged at Kilby's apartment, [police spokeswoman Rita] Davis said.

Davis said Kilby pulled out a small revolver after he and Aguilar argued in the living room, pointed the gun at Aguilar's head and then pointed the gun at a couch and discharged the weapon. Davis said teammate Stephan Gilling was in the living room, and two other people were in the apartment at the time, Davis said.

The coach has said Kilby won't be "participating in team activities."

The stench of ag has clearly infiltrated the area's drinking water, and is solely affecting the local athletes. The state of Colorado's college athletics is such that the only notice it gets is when stuff like this actually happens -- it's not like CU, CSU, or anyone else gets notice for actually winning games (well, Air Force does, kind of, sometimes -- but since Jeff Bzdelik went to CU, they can feel free to become irrelevant again as far as the NCAA goes.)


Run Up The Score! said...

I could expound on the subject of why people in Colorado are off-kilter, but I think this sums it up best: I moved here from Philadelphia, and I think these people are FUCKING INSANE.

It's really an odd phenomenon, and I don't understand it at all. The weather is usually beautiful, 90% of the population is in good physical shape, the scenery is tremendous, the economy seems to be good. Yet, every day, it seems that some crazy asshole is doing some crazy thing.

Signal to Noise said...

There need to be studies done as to why Colorado folk are nuts. I can chalk up reasons why people in the other places I've lived in my life are insane, annoying, etc., but I can't find a consistent reason for the Rocky Mountains.

Phony Gwynn said...

It's pretty simple, fellas:

FANTASTIC kind bud
FANTASTIC microbrews

There were a lot of us that weren't into hiking and rock climbing and all that shit.

Signal to Noise said...

Phony, thanks for the clarification. I had suspicions that this was the case, but since my time in the state was done before the discovery of weed and/or turning 18, I couldn't be sure.

I liked hiking. Skiing and snowboarding were for people who had money to burn.

One More Dying Quail said...

The state of Colorado needs its own Fulmer Cup-style scoreboard to keep track of all the crazy shit that goes on there. Insane.