boring? really?

I know the Super Bowl wasn't the most visually exciting spectacle and a turnover-laden fest, but I'm not sure where people are getting that the Colts' victory was crappy, boring, or dull. I mean, call me nuts if you watched the game and thought "boring", but anyone used to watching the Bears' offense all season knew they could be absolute shite based on how Grossman was playing, yet maybe put it together and pull it out. That game wasn't really completely over until the fourth quarter, and most of the time, that's all you can ask of a Super Bowl; that it not be a Bucs over Raiders style blowout.

I would accept that my viewing experience probably colored the boring part; I may not be thinking solely of the game, and Devin Hester's kickoff TD may have set the bar too high for excitement. We were needling the Colts fan in our group throughout the game with chants of "Peyton is a pussy!" while watching the Sex Cannon fall apart throughout the game.

However, I think we can all agree that the commercial quality was low this year.

that's what I get for taking a nap.

I swear when I crashed out on the couch for my customary late-afternoon, early-evening Sunday nap, it was 21-6 and the Patriots had that game in hand. By now, you know what has happened, and we can no longer tag Peyton Manning with the choker label for at least a couple of weeks (depending on whether he completely shits himself against a Bears defense that looked absolutely vicious in the second half.)

After Asante Samuel picked him for six and we saw the second instance of Manning Face in the first half, I figured it was done and I could nap for a couple hours and not miss much. I wake up in the middle of SportsCenter and they're mumbling something about the Colts winning. It felt like a parallel universe of sorts.

I'm not making a pick for the Super Bowl yet. I don't know what to make of either of these teams right now, and my track record has been less than stellar this playoff season.

taking one for the team.

According to the AP, a Chicago woman decided to induce labor early so her husband could attend today's NFC championship game at Soldier Field.

Now that's dedication.

Rexy promises to sling some extra cum around the field today just for you, Mrs. Pavelka, but he makes no promises that you won't be knocked up again as a result, especially if the Bears pull one out, and if they do, he won't pull out.

I've picked the Saints and I'm rooting for them, but if the Bears win and the Pats beat the Colts, I will be using any and all material I can regarding Rextasy and Dreamboat hitting up the ladies on South Beach, and I bet KSK will outdo themselves. Whom else could you see trying to hit up the surgically rejuvenated vaginas in Miami? Drew Brees appears happily married. As for Peyton, he'd be making the Manning Face after getting shot down the first three times.

my record is crap this year, so let's keep digging.

Patriots (+3) @ Colts - I don't know why anyone ever has the Colts as a favorite against the Patriots. I will take the Pats outright until Peyton beats them; New England wins 17-13.

Saints (+2.5) @ Bears - I see a shootout. Rexy has the better arm, Brees has more weapons. I'll take McAllister over Thomas Jones. Saints secondary stinks, Bears run D is suspect due to injury. Saints play clock control as Bears try to get quick scores and turnovers. Weather would be more of a factor if the Saints couldn't run the ball. 28-20, New Orleans.

well, at least I get to keep a New Year's resolution for a week.

Watching less SportsCenter will be very, very easy now this week. You can expect the same recycled stories and arguments about Brady owning Peyton, Belichick inside his head, how this may be the Colts year, how great they both are as quarterbacks, Brady = Montana, Manning = Marino (unless he wins this year). KSK says it in ways I wish I would have. I am now on the NFC bandwagon.

(P.S. Andy Reid, you've been given a reprieve. Marty snatched defeat from the jaws of victory yet again.)

a few quick ones (while he's away).

1) Musical chairs update: Fox's NFL "insider" claims Steeler O-coordinator Ken Whisenhunt is the new Buzzsaw coach. If true, it's a smart hire (confirmed via ESPN.)

2) What the hell has Dom Capers done to warrant being paid over $2 million a year as the D-coordinator in Miami? I remember nothing but crap losing seasons from him as a head coach ever since one season of leading Carolina to the NFC championship game. Coordinators shouldn't be getting head coach money like that, no matter how good. The Dolphins seem to be well on their way to becoming the Redskins of the AFC -- overpaying for talent and no team cohesiveness at all.

3) I've never quite been so happy to be so wrong on the Colts-Ravens game, because of the old Baltimore fans having the temerity to continue whining on SportsCenter about the Midnight Move even after the city swiped the Cleveland Browns.

4) Eagles coach Andy Reid has temporarily stolen the "Playoff Choker" coach label from Marty Schottenheimer, pending the outcome of Pats-Bolts this afternoon (which I'll be live-blogging over at AwfulAnnouncing.) Why is 4th and 10 worth going for it, but not 4th and 15?

5) Still going with the Hawks and SUPER-Chargers.

you stay classy, New Orleans.

(Deadspin commenter Rob Iracane nabbed the screen capture. MJD also nabbed video.)

programming note.

I'll be over at AwfulAnnouncing this Sunday afternoon, live-blogging the Pats and the Chargers as part of a weekend-long NFL live-blog playoff line-up that includes One More Dying Quail pulling a double shift on Saturday and AA commenter Sam T handling Seahawks-Bears.

where slack-jawed yokels and sex bombers go down.

Colts @ Ravens (-4) - Peyton Manning blows against actual defenses that can get to him, and the Ravens are one of them. It pains me to pick them because of the pomposity of Brian Billick and Ray Lewis' styling by SI as "God's Linebacker," but Baltimore's defensive line will make Peyton see dead relatives.

Eagles @ Saints (-5) - It's been a nice run for Jeff Garcia and the Eagles, but this is the week where he remembers he's Jeff Garcia. New Orleans' defense is spotty and Philly's is rendered spotty by injury, so you go for the shoot-out and take the home team.

Seahawks (+9.5) @ Bears - Sexy Rexy slings enough rapid-fire cumshot passes in bad areas to make the most subpar of cornerbacks look like Pro Bowl fodder, so this is the game most likely for an upset. The problem is that everyone's taking the Seahawks with that line, even with their patchwork secondary, and they won by the grace of Tony Romo's bad hands last week, not because of anything they did on offense. It's asking a lot to pull that luck two weeks straight, but the foot of Seattle kicker Josh Brown will do it.

Patriots @ Chargers (-5) - Hardest game to try and pick, but the Pats did lose to a Plummer-led Broncos last year, and no Rodney Harrison makes the defensive woes worse, which means Fantasy Jesus gets a chance to run all over the place. Schottenheimer's due to stop fucking up, and this is the team that's stacked enough to do it with, as long as Philip Rivers doesn't get the jitters.

last-minute programming reminder!

Again, yours truly will be live-blogging this afternoon's Chiefs-Colts game over at AwfulAnnouncing starting at 1:30 PST.

The pre-game thread is already up, so swing on by and join me while I root for a missile to come down and annihilate the RCA Dome sometime during a crucial point in the third or fourth quarter.

what's your playoff pleasure?

Wild Card Weekends are sick things, especially because they run smack dab in the middle of the college bowl season, and it's not like I'm not already enough of a shut-in when this time of the year rolls around (I'm lucky I'm getting out to drink tonight.) This is one of the weekends that justifies my "unlimited long distance" on the phone bill, as I will be on the phone with several friends plus my dad for most of the game action. NBC has the Saturday doubleheader this year, and CBS and Fox will do their games on Sunday. So, with that in mind, let's get to the calls:

KC (+7) at Indy - If Ron Dayne is running roughshod over your defense, you got problems. Larry Johnson will have a huge game. The question is whether Trent Green and KC's wideouts show up, because this will probably be the most fun game to watch (read: no defense on either side of the ball.) I'm taking KC and the points because this game will come down to field goal increments, and I'm rooting for them to win outright 31-27. Only Cro-Mag Peyton Manning can make me root for the fucking Chiefs to win.

(SPECIAL PROGRAMMING NOTE: Yours truly will be live-blogging this game over at AwfulAnnouncing tomorrow afternoon, so stop by and join in the fun.)

Dallas at Seattle (-3) - I'm not sure I even want to watch this game; I think it has the possibility to be very ugly. Matt Hasselbeck has only "off" or "on"; there's no middle, and there could be errant passes. The Cowboys wideouts are suffering from individual cases of butterfingers and Tony Romo isn't exactly looking quite so beatified lately. However, Seattle's secondary has been made non-existent due to injury. Dallas doesn't have a pass rush if its name isn't DeMarcus Ware. I sense at least six turnovers total in this game. Seattle wins at home, 24-20.

Jets (+8.5) at Patriots - Giving an 8.5 line to this Pats team is a mistake. That said, the score might be closer than the actual game. Tom Brady looks human lately and Chad Pennington has held it down, plus he actually has a good pair of receivers, while Brady has the better running backs. No Richard Seymour chasing down Pennington makes it even more likely that the Jets cover, but cover doesn't get you playing the Ravens. Patriots, 20-14.

Giants at Eagles (-7) - This is the opposite. Tom Coughlin loses his job after losing by 10 and Philly fans will agonize over whether Jeff Garcia should actually start for them while Westbrook plays up to his talent. NY media will go nuts when Mongoloid #2 underperforms yet again after the Philly defense gets blitz-happy and racks up the sacks. Over/under on picks for Eli: 2. Eagles 27, Giants 17.