the pornstache walks away.

Jake Plummer is calling it quits rather than get traded to Tampa Bay -- apparently, he's not interested in being traded some place where he isn't automatically the starter. Great sentiment in terms of looking out for yourself, Jake, but have you looked at your stats the last few years? You are the last person who should be handed a starting job fresh out of the gate and without question.

What makes it worse is that he's giving up already and the guy he'd be going up against for Tampa's starting job is recovering from losing his goddamned spleen. Shave off the mustache and the beard or whatever you've got these days, Plummer, your wussing out means you don't deserve to wear that facial hair.

so long, Snake.

Jake Plummer, like every other QB who gets replaced mid-season, still thinks he can be a starter in other places and sounds like he wants out, according to the Rocky Mountain News. Teams that could use a quarterback include Houston (yeah, that whole Mario Williams thing worked out real well, didn't it?), Miami, Cleveland, and Tampa Bay.

If the Broncos manage to deal him (cutting him would hack off too much in salary cap), I will miss him, despite his tendency to make me throw things at the television when watching the Horseheads play, mainly for the exquisite facial hair he displayed on a regular basis (except for this year, and that's where I think he went wrong.) Also, we can never forget that until last Sunday, he was the QB of the only team to hand Tom Brady a playoff loss.

He'll never have a ring, but I think Plummer will be one of those QBs who has a Jeff Garcia-like resurgence someplace else, with low expectations. Houston might be the place to do it.