a needle will turn you into a slut.

The very conservative governor of Texas has issued an executive order requiring sixth grade girls in the state to get vaccinated for the human papillomavirus, with its obvious and scientifically proven links to cervical cancer.

Of course, Gov. Rick Perry's religious conservative base is not having any of it, claiming the order doesn't allow enough room for parents to object or have a say in their children's medical treatment, adopting not only the "sexual license" arguments but taking the anti-corporate one when it suits them -- Merck's funding of such orders and bills in state legislatures is well known; Perry's former chief of staff is now a Merck lobbyist.

The cognitive dissonance required to wrap heads around this is stunning -- while I don't like the idea of Merck forcing the vaccine down people's throats, the fact that this vaccine could prevent cervical cancer likely outweighs concerns about Merck's profits or ramrodding through state houses and legislatures. Eventually, you have to wonder whether the people opposing this are more comfortable with the potential of dying due to a preventable disease rather than the thought of premarital sex.

creative methods of endorsement.

Cribbed from ESPN via Deadspin, it seems Tiger Woods and that very, very beautiful wife of his are expecting a child. MJD noted in the Deadspin story:

"Someone at Nike headquarters is very busy today... trying to figure out a way to get a big Swoosh to pass through Elin's birth canal, or somehow get her baby-making part in the shape of a Swoosh after the blessed event."

Nah, that leaves too much up to chance. In this age of genetic advances and given how early we can identify characteristics of children via ultrasounds, the obvious solution will hit the folks in Beaverton fairly soon, and I would appreciate some back end payment for the idea, because it will require some serious cash payment to get this done (that brings up several problematic issues: do the parents sign in the fetus' name? Does this render the kid ineligible to participate in college golf from the get-go? If it gets an endorsement contract, I don't even want to think about what that means for Roe v. Wade.)

Here's the easy way to do it: just do some slight modification to apply a swoosh birthmark to the kid's inner thigh or leg, maybe ankle or wrist. It may not be visually prevalent enough for Nike, whom I'm sure would love to have a Drew Brees-style Swoosh Mole on the cheek. We're all about compromise, so Mr. and Mrs. Woods, give 'em the forearm birthmark, but not until they shell out another $60 million. You're very welcome; just keep it in mind when I'm old and decrepit and the kid is winning titles.

and the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools trying to anesthetize the way that you feel.

Earlier this week, Clear Channel announced their sale to a private investment group, which isn't notable in and of itself -- what's really interesting about the whole sale is how about 450 radio stations and ALL of their TV stations (via the division that owns them) will be spun off and sold. (Clear Channel's TV arm owns a couple of my employer's competitors; all we know about their ownership from our friends at said stations is that it makes for better initial salary numbers, supposedly.)

The consolidation effect from years of public ownership and swallowing up of radio stations has already passed in the sense that hoping to reverse it is a pipe dream. Privatizing the largest top-down conglomerate in radio and most aspects of musically related entertainment isn't going to have a discernible effect on what we see and hear in terms of entertainment -- the damage has already been done, and since it makes money, it's not likely to change. The effect of the BusinessWeek article is really to chronicle (almost by accident) just how all-encompassing the company has been, especially post-Telecommunications Act, when ownership rules were relaxed significantly. The company owned a major part of the airwaves, the promotional end of the musicians they aired, and a magazine that covered their industry.

They're going to sell the concert promotion, TV stations, and it seems, anything that isn't straight radio -- but the sentiment of the Elvis Costello lyric in the title will still hold.