Stealing Signals: I Got A Broken Face.

Tigers 8, Twins 2 - How unlucky are the Twins right now? Joe Mauer's already on the DL, and they're getting beat up with the latest loss to the Tigers being the fourth in a row. Justin Morneau got absolutely popped up above there, complete with broken nose. Fortunately, it won't be affecting anyone's fantasy rosters -- he says he'll play today.

Brewers 12, Mets 3 - After the Mets whooped up on the Brew Crew on Friday, Milwaukee responded by taking the sticks out for abused Met pitcher Mike Pelfrey, who is now 0-5 after giving up a 4-0 lead. J.J. Hardy then made it worse later on by knocking a grand slam off reliever Joe Smith.

Red Sox 13, Orioles 4 - Bosox bats continue to burn, as the offense overcomes an underwhelming 5.1 inning start by Curt Schilling (karma, Curt, karma.) Boh he and O's starter Steve Trachsel left a tie game to the bullpens, and it was no contest from there, as the O's bullpen lit the entire matchbook and threw it on the gasoline.

Cardinals 5, Padres 0 - Braden Looper is getting used to this starting stuff, looks like. He threw 7, and the bullpen closed it up, allowing four hits total. So Taguchi gets the big hit with a bases loaded double.

Phillies 11, Cubs 7 - Ryan Howard on the DL? No problem, at least for the Phils so far (for his fantasy owners, like me, that's another matter.) Replacement Greg Dobbs goes 4-4 with an RBI triple, Chase Utley and Carlos Ruiz homer. The offense bails out starter Freddy Garcia and a weak bullpen yet again.

Yankees 7, Mariners 2 - Jeter, Matsui, and Posada each get three hits to support starter Matt DeSalvo, while knocking around Mariners starter Miguel Batista.

Dodgers 7, Reds 3 - Brad Penny is on point. He gave up only one run in 6.1 innings, retiring 17 consecutive in one stretch, and lowers his ERA to 1.39. Kyle Lohse got knocked around in the 4th inning, even walking Penny with the bases loaded.

(Photo: AP/Tom Olmscheid)

Stealing Signals: A Lowe Down Dirty Shame.

Marlins 3, Dodgers 0 - I wouldn't want to be Derek Lowe. You pitch an amazing game only to cough up a three-run homer in the bottom of the ninth and wreck an otherwise great start. Of course, it would have helped if your teammates could have hit the ball.

Angels 8, Indians 0 - Kelvim Escobar, on fire again, throwing a seven-hitter. The Halos' offense blew up in the third inning, batting around for five runs.

Red Sox 8, Blue Jays 0 - Rarely are teams able to totally wreck Roy Halladay. The Red Sox are one of those teams that can. Not what the Blue Jays needed on top of closer B.J. Ryan being done for the season in order to have Tommy John surgery.

Pirates 6, Cubs 4 - The Cubs just can't get the motors running. Carlos Zambrano is still having issues, inconsistent from start to start, and Pittsburgh was able to get to him yesterday.

Athletics 17, Royals 3 - Are we sure we're not at a Raiders-Chiefs game? Oh, right, KC would have won that one if that were the case. Dan Johnson and Jack Cust both go deep twice for the A's. The Athletics had six homers and 18 hits total.

Rockies 5, Giants 3 - Two errors in the third, including an uncharacteristic one from SS Omar Vizquel, are what screwed the Giants over in this one, particularly the bonehead move by Ryan Klesko for going to first on a bunt instead of home to get the runner out at the plate.

(Limp-Dicked Steroid Investigation Update: Yep, like everyone figured, the players' union won't hand over the medical records George Mitchell wants. Everyone go back to sleep on this for two months.)

(Photo: AP/Lynne Sladky)

Stealing Signals: The Day-Off Homer.

Phillies 9, Diamondbacks 3 - Ryan Howard was supposed to have the day off with lefty Randy Johnson throwing, but as soon as Johnson was out of the game, Howard was brought in to pinch-hit with the bases loaded, and he took it out to put the Phillies on top for good. Jamie Moyer topped Johnson in this contest of grumpy old men on the mound.

Cubs 1, Pirates 0 - Alfonso Soriano led off the bottom of the 1st for the Cubs with a home run, and that's all the offense that would be necessary, as Jason Marquis just went nuts, throwing a complete-game shutout to wrap up a fifth straight win.

Mets 5, Giants 3 - Armando Benitez is looking like the mediocre closer he is, as he coughs up the game-tying double to Carlos Delgado and then gives up the go-ahead runs on another double to David Wright. It would have helped if Ray Durham and Todd Linden could have figured out who was supposed to catch Jose Reyes' ball earlier.

Angels 3, Indians 2 - The Indians started with a lead off Jered Weaver, but Kendry Morales helped lead the rally back for the win for the Halos with a two run HR, and Sarge Jr. added a solo shot for the total offense.

Braves 3, Padres 2 - More grumpy old men hurling nasty stuff, as Greg Maddux took on John Smoltz, and Smoltz got the best of his former teammate. Smoltz only gave up two solo homers, but the Padres' bullpen coughed up Maddux's lead in the seventh inning.

Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 3 - I think Daisuke Matsuzaka may be okay now, giving up only one run and five hits in seven innings. More home run derby for the Sox, as Ortiz, Manny, Julio Lugo, and Mike Lowell take the ball out of the Rogers Centre.

(Photo: AP/Ross D. Franklin)

Stealing Signals: That's A Beer With Head.

Brewers 6, Nationals 4 - I usually wouldn't feature a pic from a game that you expect the better team to win like this, but I have to note: is any team more on fire than the Brewers right now? I mean, the "this year's Tigers" talk is a little premature, but when you have Prince Fielder jacking a three-run HR and J.J. Hardy adding another in the eighth as the Brew Crew goes 8-1 in nine games on this current homestand, this could stand up, especially in a weak division.

Mets 4, Giants 1 - The "1" on your scoreboard is #745 from the bat of Barry Bonds. Otherwise, Tom Glavine was on lockdown, now six victories away from 300.

Pirates 4, Cubs 3 - Amazing. Jack Wilson has an 0-6 day at the plate, yet drives in the two runs for sac flies in the 9th and the 15th to win the game for the Bucs. First blown save of the year for the Cubs' Ryan Dempster.

Twins 7, White Sox 4 - Justin Morneau comes up big again with Joe Mauer on the DL. He hits two homers in the game, plus the game-winning 3-run homer in the bottom of the 10th.

Tigers 9, Mariners 7 - Don't look now, but the Tigers have won eight straight, matching the Giants' earlier streak for the longest in the majors this season. Right now, the only concern is Jeremy Bonderman's first inning issues -- he gave up another jack in the first to Richie Sexson, and five earned overall. It's not hampering his wins -- he hasn't lost in his last 11 starts.

Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2 - Josh Beckett is now 7-0, while the BoSox offense pounds out four home runs (Lowell, Youkilis, Pedroia, and Varitek). The Blue Jays have lost seven straight.

(Photo: AP/Morry Gash)

Stealing Signals: Penny Lane.

Dodgers 6, Marlins 1 - Brad Penny goes atomic on the Fish, striking out 14 and allowing five baserunners in seven innings of work. He even helped himself with a two-RBI single. The Marlins' sole run came off a Dan Uggla homer against the Dodger pen.

Giants 9, Mets 4 - Sigh. I get either Good Oliver or Bad Oliver, and tonight, I got only bad from Oliver Perez, who coughed up nine in the fifth inning, including two homers to Giant catcher Bengie Molina. Jesus, Oliver. At least give up two homers in an inning to Barry or something. Errors from Shawn Green and Damion Easley (filling in for Jose Valentin) didn't help.

Rockies 3, Cardinals 2 - More proof your team is having a hard-luck season: the walk-off play against you is not a home run, not even a hit. Tyler Johnson gave up a bases loaded walk to Brad Hawpe to end the game.

Mariners 3, Yankees 2 - The Yankees got screwed on a stolen base call when the M's Willie Bloomquist had been out by a country mile, but it's not like that forced Mariano Rivera to give up a game-winning HR to Adrian Beltre.

Padres 4, Braves 2 - Chris Young strikes out eight Braves in six innings, breaking a bad streak against Atlanta with two runs and two hits given up.

Indians 10, Orioles 1 - The Tribe went batty in the seventh with a four-run inning, and Travis Hafner then put it way out of reach with a grand slam in the eighth inning. Fausto Carmona gave up only one run in a semi-duel with Steve Trachsel, but Carmona wound up getting the win, as the O's bullpen collapsed after Trachsel left the game.

(Photo: AP/Wilfredo Lee)

Stealing Signals: Wang Drops The Hammer.

Yankees 8, Mariners 1 - Chien-Ming Wang threw seven innings of perfect ball, and the Yanks just tore up Jeff Weaver for a five-run inning. Weaver is now 0-5, and Mike Hargrove is going to have to consider whether to pull him from the rotation. The elder Weaver should have known better than to go back to the American League. In the NL, he's serviceable, and can eke out at least .500, but in the AL, he's a waste.

Dodgers 6, Braves 3 - Derek Lowe becomes one of the few pitchers this year to outdo Tim Hudson, who was on a roll until tonight. The underwhelming Wilson Betemit nailed the go-ahead home run off Hudson while hitting for Lowe in the eighth.

Twins 2, Red Sox 1 - The BoSox sluggers battered Johan Santana, but couldn't cash it in at all, leaving 12 runners on base even though they chased Santana from the game in the fifth inning.

Astros 13, Cardinals 0 - After finding out ace Chris Carpenter would be on the DL for three months, the Cards got a football score laid on them. Kip Wells had another miserable start, while Houston rookie Mike Albers threw eight scoreless for the win.

Mets 6, Diamondbacks 2 - The Mets keep finding good pitching in odd places -- Jorge Sosa, who washed out with the Braves last year, was called up from Triple A to start, and gave up only two runs over 6.1 innings. Shawn Green started the run-scoring with a 2-run homer, and the Mets added four more off reigning Cy Young winner Brandon Webb in the sixth.

Giants 9, Phillies 4 - Bonds jacks #744. Eliezer Alfonzo and Pedro Feliz added homers of their own to add to SF's total, and I suppose the only comfort the Phillies have is that Bruce Bochy has said Bonds will not start in tonight's game.

Devil Rays 3, Athletics 2 (12 innings) - A's closer Houston Street coughs up a homer to Ty Wigginton to blow the save and send it to extras, and Brendan Harris drives Ben Zobrist in to win it in the 12th inning.

(Photo: Reuters)

Stealing Signals: State and Maine.

Mets 5, Diamondbacks 3 - Bolstered by home runs from grumpy old man Julio Franco and catcher Paul Lo Duca, John Maine has quietly become the Mets' most consistent starter, off to a 4-0 start, and showing promise Mets nuts hoped for when he first came throwing. Franco, 48, hit the homer off Randy Johnson, 43, for the oldest combination of both sides of an at-bat.

Red Sox 2, Twins 0 - Speaking of old men, it's pretty clear that knuckleballs keep you young. Tim Wakefield is still a steady starter in this league in his 40s by throwing a ball that seems to barely require any exertion on his end, and did it while being sick. Papelbon comes in to grab yet another save, and David Ortiz belts one out for the only necessary run (J.D. Drew scored in the ninth after hitting a triple.)

Marlins 5, Padres 4 - Banging back-to-back homers in the eighth is a good way to bail out your star starter when he doesn't have his best night, and that's what Josh Willingham and Joe Burchard did for Dontrelle Willis.

Mariners 15, Yankees 11 - Yay, football scores! The M's had 20 hits total, and everyone in their line-up had a base hit, knocking around Kei Igawa and the Yankee bullpen pretty badly. The Yanks did the same to Cha Seung Baek, getting the Mariners down by five early on.

Braves 4, Dodgers 0 - John Smoltz mows down the Dodger lineup, by pitching seven shut-out innings. Brian McCann and Jeff Francoeur provide the run support.

Cardinals 3, Astros 2 - If you're a last place team recovering from an awful tragedy and haven't won since it happened, then the next-to-last team is always good for what ails you. Adam Wainwright gave up two runs on six innings to grab the win, and Woody Williams is at 0-5 for the Astros.

Giants 6, Phillies 2 - The Giants make Jamie Moyer and the Phils pay for walking Barry Bonds. Eliezer Alfonzo gets a pinch-hit bases clearing double to wreck an otherwise good start by yet another cranky old man on the mound.

Angels 5, White Sox 1 - Darin Erstad bizarrely loses a ball in the lights of Comiskey, and catcher Mike Napoli gets an RBI double as a result. Kelvim Escobar throws seven innings of one-run ball for the win, while Jose Contreras continues to get hit up.

(Photo: Reuters/Rick Scuteri)

Stealing Signals: Manny Being Manny.

Red Sox 8, Mariners 7 - Having Manny Ramirez get locked on is a scary proposition for a team already atop its division and its usual rival struggling badly. Last thing anyone else in the AL East needs is Manny hitting. Seattle got the brunt of it, with Ramirez hitting two homers and bailing out another mediocre start from Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Pirates 4, Brewers 2 - A good streak has to have bumps every once in a while, and the Brewers hit one, giving up a four-run seventh inning to the Pirates that eventually won the game for the crew from Pittsburgh.

Mets 9, Arizona 4 - The Mets like Chase Field in Phoenix, having won 11 straight games there, and when you have David Wright (expected, kind of, despite a slump) and Damion Easley (not expected; he's still in the league?) hitting three-run homers, it makes it easy for a pitcher, like, say, Tom Glavine to get bailed out by wailing on the Arizona bullpen.

Yankees 4, Rangers 3; Yanks 5, Rangers 2 - Doubleheader sweep for the Yanks in this battle of last place teams, and getting Mike Mussina and Andy Pettitte back to give them starts like they did can only help, although the holes in the rest of the rotation still run rampant. Mariano Rivera grabs both saves for the fifth time in his major league career. More importantly, the Yanks climb out of the cellar, swapping spots with the Orioles.

Phillies 9, Giants 7 - Matt Cain has an off day for the Giants, and the Phillies made him pay for it. Adam Eaton got hit up too, but not quite as badly, and had the run support (especially from Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley) to cover up his mistakes.

(Photo: AP/Winslow Townson)

Stealing Signals: A Baker's Dozen Left.

Giants 5, Rockies 3 - 12 more blasts until every sportswriter in the country gets really uncomfortable, starts rambling about the sanctity of the game, and gets caught up in hyperbole yet again to describe just how awful the whole mess is. 12 more until Bud Selig and Hank Aaron say they're not going to attend for the 13th after this one. 12 more opportunities for baseball to sweep its own complicity under the rug. Bonds also chipped in a two-run single in the eighth with the bases loaded to win it, by the way.

Red Sox 6, Athletics 4 - Josh Beckett catches Roger Clemens in one category: he's the first BoSox pitcher since Clemens to start 6-0, and Babe Ruth's 8-0 (shared with two others) is next. Bad loss in the game for both teams -- Mike Lowell and Mike Piazza crashed into each other at third, and both had to leave the game.

Brewers 4, Cardinals 0 - My picks on the NL Central are looking really shitty right now. St. Louis has lost five in a row and is in the cellar, and the Brew Crew are in first place. Tough going for Anthony Reyes, who went eight innings but gave up four runs, and had no help from his offense.

Dodgers 2, Diamondbacks 1 - Mark Hendrickson wants a starting spot back kinda bad, don't you think? He pitched six innings of shutout ball, and RBI singles by Juan Pierre and Andre Ethier gave him enough to win.

Mets 6, Marlins 3 - Which Oliver Perez do I get for my fantasy team (and my favorite team) this year? It looks like the one that can win games, at least so far. RBIs for the Mets came from Beltran, Wright, Reyes, and two from Endy Chavez.

Indians 7, Blue Jays 6 - Y'know, sometimes the shift just doesn't work. Ask the Jays, who pulled it on Travis Hafner in the 11th inning, and watched him hit the slowest of dribblers to left field, which was far enough, with the left fielder running in, to allow David Dellucci to score.

(Photo credit: AP/Jeff Chiu)

Stealing Signals: Hurler Hex.

Yankees 10, Rangers 1 - What kind of dumb hard luck do the Yankees have right now? Phil Hughes throws 6.1 of no hit ball, and then gets struck with the hamstring pull. He's out 4-6 weeks, as the bullpen combines on the three-hitter after Hughes leaves the game. A-Rod and Jorge Posada had three hits, Robinson Cano tries to break the slump with a 4-hit game. That makes an entire starting rotation the Yanks have had or currently have on the DL.

Athletics 5, Red Sox 4 (10 innings) - When Jonathan Papelbon blows his first save after a month of play, that's notable. He caught a case of the Lidge against Travis Buck, coughing up a game-tying two-run homer in the top of the ninth. Dan Johnson doubled home the winning run in the top of the 10th, and Huston Street closed it out.

Mariners 5, White Sox 2 - Jarrod Washburn is on a tear. It feels weird to write that sentence, but Washburn gave up two singles and two solo jacks while Richie Sexson hit a two-run homer off Javier Vazquez to give the M's the lead for good. Sexson either hits all or nothing -- 4 of his 10 hits this season (ugh!) are homers. Yet somehow, the M's are in second place in the AL West. To his credit, Pale Hose skipper Ozzie Guillen is not impressed: ""With all due respect, all the pitchers that pitch against the White Sox right now look like Cy Young." (+1 to Ozzie.)

Dodgers 2, Diamondbacks 1 - Olmedo Saenz bails out Andre Ethier big-time. Ethier dived on a ball that was pretty much out of reach, allowing the tying run to score, and Saenz slaps a two-out RBI single in the bottom of the ninth to take the game.

Brewers 12, Cardinals 2 - Milwaukee brought the big guns, roughing up Braden Looper and the pen for 11 runs in the 5th and 6th innings, and you know it's gonna be a tough night when Tony Graffanino is hitting a three-run homer on you. J.J. Hardy kicked in a 4-hit game for the Brewers.

Phillies 6, Braves 4 - Cole Hamels coughs up 3 runs and 5 hits in the fifth inning, and then starts working for the clampdown. Chipper Jones was the Braves' bright spot, homering twice. Braves hurler Mark Redman now has the unsightly mark of an ERA at 10.02 and an 0-4 record.

(Photo: Matt Slocum/AP)

Stealing Signals: Walk It Off.

Braves 5, Phillies 2- Tim Hudson and Jon Lieber went for the old fashioned pitchers' duel, both allowing two runs in eight and seven innings respectively, and then the Braves' Andruw Jones accounts for the rest with one swing in the bottom of the ninth. Hudson still has not lost this year, despite missing on the chance to go 4-0.

Marlins 9, Mets 6 - Nothing worse than hearing these words as a Met fan, after the constant concern about starting pitching: "Chan Ho Park will be starting tonight." With El Duque on the DL, Park got dinked, dunked, and bombed all the way during his start, allowing seven runs in four innings.

Angels 3, Royals 1 - John Lackey accepts the lack of run support and gives up only one run to the Royals in 6.1 innings. Vlad the Impaler doubles in two runs, and Chone Figgins brings in the other, fresh off the DL.

Blue Jays 6, Rangers 1 - Does any pitcher work faster than Roy Halladay? If he's on, you can probably expect to be home in under three hours after the first pitch. His second complete game of the season took only 2 hours and 2 minutes. Sammy Sosa drove in Kenny Lofton for the Rangers' sole run.

Tigers 8, Orioles 4 - Gary Sheffield and Daniel Cabrera had to be separated after Cabrera started jawing at Tigers manager Jim Leyland. Sheffield then separated Cabrera's pitch from the stadium moments later in the fifth. Jeremy Bonderman wins in his first decision of the season.

Brewers 7, Cardinals 1 - A day after the death of Josh Hancock, the Cardinals probably weren't terribly ready to return to the field. Kip Wells coughed up seven runs and got caught balking, and Jeff Suppan shut his old team down. Tony La Russa is still on his media boycott, advising the players to be weary of media with "their own agendas."

(Photo: AP/John Bazemore)

Stealing Signals: 17 Innings Of Vin Scully Is Fine By Me.

Dodgers 5, Padres 4 (17 innings) - Knock-down, drag-out wars of bullpen and bench attrition are fun, until you realize that it could fuck up starters for the next few days. Brady Clark doubled home the winning run in the top of the 17th, scoring Wilson Valdez, who reached on an error by backup catcher/emergency 1B Pete Laforest. The problem for the Dodgers in this win: they left something like 15 men on base during the game.

Mets 1, Nats 0 - Pitching duel between John Maine and Jason Bergmann, and Carlos Beltran gives Maine a 4-0 record with a solo home run.

Phillies 6, Marlins 1 - Grumpy old man Jamie Moyer throws six innings of no-hit ball, and threw seven and a third of one-hit ball in total for his third win of the season. A Miggy Cabrera double snaps the no-no. Most of the Phillies' runs came on a late double in the eighth.

Rockies 9, Braves 7 (11 innings) - Matt Holliday hits a two-run walk-off homer for the Rox to avoid being swept, but the play everyone's talking about is SS Troy Tulawitzki's unassisted triple play: runners on first and second, catches a line drive, taps second base with his foot, tags the other runner.

Tigers 4, Twins 3 - If Brandon Inge wants to get out of a season-starting slump that's got him hitting .122, hitting a walk-off homer is one heck of a way to get started. Johan Santana and Mike Maroth had similar lines, giving up three runs apiece in about the same number of innings worked. Magglio Ordonez got a two-run jack off Santana.

Rays 5, A's 3 - There's a lot of power in that Tampa lineup: all the runs were provided via long-ball today. B.J. Upton brought in two others when he hit his, and Rocco Baldelli and Elijah Dukes went back-to-back off Dallas Braden, who's subbing for Rich Harden. Pluses for the Athletics: Mark Ellis and Eric Chavez went back to back as well.

Angels 5, White Sox 2 - More back-to-back jack action, this time courtesy of Maicer Izturis (what?) and Vlad the Impaler for the Halos. Kelvim Escobar only gave up a two-run homer to former Angel Darin Erstad in a strong start.

Red Sox 7 , Yankees 4 - Sox take two out of three from the Yanks, and hold them to 11 runs total over those three games (not a lot for that high-powered lineup). Red Sox got homers from Manram, Big Papi, and Alex Cora. Jonathan Papelbon hasn't blown a save yet. If the majority of your offense comes from Doug Mientkiewicz, you've got problems.

Stealing Signals: More Ish Comes Back To Haunt Me.

Yanks 3, BoSox 1 - After Rich Karstens gets absolutely blasted in the leg by a line drive, forcing Joe Torre to bring in the recently demoted Kei Igawa, I start cackling mercilessly at my television as Joe Buck reads over a montage of bad Yank pitching from this season so far. Igawa then throws six innings plus of shutout ball, bolstered by a homer from Jorge Posada off Tim Wakefield. Shows you what I know, but the rumors about Torre's job security and replacement by bench coach Don Mattingly are already swirling.

Angels 3, ChiSox 0 - In short, Sarge Jr.'s leadoff homer was all the Halos needed, as Jered Weaver gets off the snide for his first win. The White Sox offense is not helping their pitchers out at all, with seriously anemic offensive output.

Padres 3, Dodgers 2 - After giving up runs early, Greg Maddux and the Padre bullpen threw six innings of shutout ball to end it. The Padres got to Brett Tomko for a three run 4th inning, although Tomko did make an amazing line drive grab in the fifth inning that made Vin Scully sound as if he'd just jumped out of his seat watching that play when he called it.

D-Backs 5, Giants 4 - SF loses two straight after eight games of victory, but Barry knocks #742 out of the yard. Giant starter Matt Cain is betrayed by the pen yet again, as relievers cough up a 4-1 lead he'd left them with.

Cubs 8, Cards 1 - Seven innings and one run for Carlos Zambrano, and the Chicago lineup goes absolutely batshit on Adam Wainwright in the fifth, topped off by a bases-loaded triple by Cub whipping boy Jacque Jones. I was cursing myself for forgetting to put Wainwright and Tim Wakefield in my fantasy lineup today since they were starting. I think I'm better off now.

Orioles 7, Indians 4 - Bizarre little ump error: a sac fly by the O's in the third isn't called one (runner scored before the runner at first was doubled off), and crew chief Ed Montague adds it on in the sixth inning, when the call probably should have been made earlier. Indians played the game under protest after that, but they probably should have taken their anger out on the bullpen, as they got a lead off a Jhonny Peralta homer and then had the bullpen cough it up.

Mets 6, Nats 2 (12 innings) - Carlos Beltran and David Wright get two-RBI hits in the top of the 12th to get the win, as the Mets were running out of players at that point and manager Willie Randolph had already been tossed.

(Photo: Associated Press)

Stealing Signals: The Mummy Returns.

Twins 1, Royals o (11 innings) - Zach Greinke started the whole mess by plunking Torii Hunter right in the face (required stitches, giving Hunter the mummy look at left) and knocking Jason Bartlett later. Mike Redmond got the winning hit in the bottom of the 11th.

Red Sox 5, Orioles 2 - Wily Mo Pena, coming in hitting .120, jacks a grand slam to help Josh Beckett get his fifth win after eight innings of two-run ball. If anyone, after the way Beckett got kind of "meh" treatment last year, thought he'd have 5 wins right out of the gate, they're probably lying. Beckett joins some fairly rare company in BoSox history with his 5-0 start: Babe Ruth, Lefty Grove, Roger Clemens, and Pedro Martinez.

Giants 5, Dodgers 4 - L.A.'s lost four straight, and just got swept by the Giants, who have now won eight in a row. Ray Durham doubled in the go-ahead run in the eighth inning.

Blue Jays 6, Yankees 0 - As far as rookie debuts, you can probably get away with four runs over 4.1 innings like Phil Hughes did and be OK. But if you happen to be Phil Hughes and pitch for the Yankees, and your offensive line-up withers at the stuff of A.J. Burnett, you're fucked.

Angels 11, Rays 3 - Bartolo Colon strikes out 11 over seven innings of work, and the Angels get him enough run support (really?) to make everyone's favorite doughboy a winner. Vlad the Impaler homers, Sarge Jr. and Shea Hillenbrand chip in three hits each.

Indians 9, Texas 4 - Sosa's home run count hits 594 with two more tonight, but it doesn't mean a heck of a lot when the Indians' hitters go absolutely nuts off of Ranger starter Kameron Loe.

(Photo: Getty Images.)

Stealing Signals: Rocking The Scoreboard

Rox 11, Mets 6 - Offensive shellacking by a team that hasn't had a lot of offensive this year. Todd Helton got four hits and three RBIs, and the slumping Willy Taveras had five hits. In all the Rockies got 20 hits in the game. Mets pitcher Mike Pelfrey was knocked out after three innings.

Mariners 2, A's 0 - Someone has to step up every once in a while with King Felix on the DL, and Jarrod Washburn did so, blanking the A's on a three-hitter and outdoing Joe Blanton in a good old-fashioned pitchers' duel. Blanton gave up solo homers to Jose Guillen and Kenji Johjima.

Angels 9, Rays 1 - Error-filled game by the Tampa Bay infield turns into six unearned runs for the Halos.

Red Sox 6, O's 1 - That $42 million spent on the Orioles' bullpen doesn't look like it's paying off. Daniel Cabrera left the game in the seventh with the score tied and two on, and then the bullpen let a trickle hit by David Ortiz through, opening the flood gates.

Giants 6, Dodgers 4 - Barry smacks #741 off of Randy Wolf, but the Giants cough up the lead in the middle innings. Pedro Feliz hits another homer to seal the deal. Quoth Dodger skipper Grady Little on Bonds' homer: "That ball got small real quick."

Pirates 4, Astros 3 (16 innings) - Adam LaRoche gets the game winning single in the 16th, saving himself from having to take the mound as an emergency pitcher. Houston's offensive woes continue; they stranded 18 runners in this game, and eight alone in extra innings.

Marlins 4, Braves 3 - Tim Hudson goes eight strong innings of shut-out ball, but he and closer Bob Wickman cough it up in the bottom of the 9th, with the game ending on a passed ball and Miguel Olivo running in to score.

Stealing Signals: Mr. Steinbrenner Will Probably Have Something To Say Very Soon.

Rays 6, Yanks 4 - A-Rod's 23 game hitting streak is no more, and the Bronx Bombers are now in last place in the AL East, as the pitching woes continue and necessitate the calling up of pitching prospect Phil Hughes. Chien-Ming Wang gives up 4 runes and nine hits in just over six innings. If anything, it's nice to see that the non Yanks and Sawx teams are not exactly pushovers (well, maybe except for the Orioles.)

Pirates 3, Astros 0 - Paul Maholm throws his first shutout for Pitt, giving up only three singles. Quoth Astros manager Phil Garner: "It was a very bad game, we looked like we had no clue what we were doing."

Angels 9, Tigers 8 (10 innings) - Sloppy, sloppy game -- Carlos Guillen was responsible for two errors in one half-inning as the Angels jumped out to a 6-0 lead in the first on Jeremy Bonderman, and the Angels managed to cough a seven-run lead up late, just managing to send it into extras and win on an infield hit in the 10th.

Indians 5, Twins 3 - Fausto Carmona breaks a long streak without a win while Johan Santana loses his second straight start at the Metrodome.

Braves 11, Marlins 6 - Atlanta tees off repeatedly, and mostly because they have to: Mark Redman keeps coughing up leads -- blowing ones of 4-0 and 6-4 in this game, while the bullpen bails him out by holding on to one after the Braves get a third one.

Stealing Signals: Swisher Sweets.

A's 6, O's 5 - Nick Swisher had one on in the fourth inning against Erik Bedard, and he had one off, adding a solo shot later to his two-run homer, and that solo shot turned out to be absolutely necessary. Closer Huston Street still has the occasional Lidge every once in a while, and he almost coughed up that lead in the 9th.

Rays 10, Yanks 8 - A-Rod tried his damnedest, really he did, but you can only do so much in the face of shitty starting pitching. Jacks #13 and #14 came tonight, tying the record set by Mt. Pujols last year for HRs in April. But it wasn't nearly enough, as Kei Igawa had another craptacular start, and B.J. Upton knocked in four runs (one a solo homer) to push TB for the win.

Phillies 11, Astros 4 - Philadelphia's bats are picking up. Jimmy Rollins was a double short of the cycle, Chase Utley hit a Ryan Howard-style homer, and Shane Victorino, Wes Helms, and Pat Burrell (!) each had three hits. All players on both teams wore #42, as the prior attempt at a Jack Robinson tribute had been delayed.

Mets 6, Rockies 1 - Really, really not fair to a bottom-dweller in the NL West to go to Shea for its first road trip outside the division. Carlos Delgado hits a jack, Moises Alou goes 3 for 3, and Jose Valentin chips in a three-run homer and 4 RBIs overall. John Maine continues to shine brightly, throwing 7 and 2/3 and giving up seven hits. Matt Holliday's three hit game was the only Rox positive.

Marlins 8, Braves 7 - Special delivery for Mr. Willis, Mr. Dontrelle Willis! With his pregnant wife in the hospital, Dontrelle becomes the first NL pitcher to win four games (while giving up 5 runs). He did help his own cause with a couple of hits while throwing 6 2/3. Miguel Olivo and Dan Uggla go deep to give the D-Train run support.

Brewers 5, Cubs 4 (12 innings) - Prince Fielder goes out twice, including one in the 12th to top the extra-inning comeback against Chicago. The Cubs are 3-8 at home right now.

Stealing Signals: Four Of A Kind.

(Meta note: I took most of the weekend off to get out and enjoy the mini-vacation. Regular posting will be back to normal come Tuesday, or so.)

Red Sox 7, Yankees 6 - Four jacks, that is, in the bottom of the third at Fenway, hit by Manny Ramirez, J.D. Drew, Mike Lowell (who hit another jack later) and Jason Varitek. A shaky start by Daisuke Matsuzaka was saved by Lowell's second homer, and Jonathan Papelbon shuts it down to close it out.

Tigers 6, White Sox 5 - Marcus Thames saves the Tigers by tying it up with a two-run homer late, then Placido Polanco wins it with a single to left in the 12th inning.

Cardinals 12, Cubs 9 - The Cubs cannot catch a break, and the problem is that they ran up against Mt. Pujols, who continues to show signs of life as the season goes forward, bashing a three-run homer for the Cards in the 10th inning that STILL hasn't landed yet. The homer bailed out closer Jason Isringhausen, who couldn't hold a two run lead in the bottom of the 9th.

Phillies 9, Reds 3 - Notable only because Ryan Howard appears to be breaking out of the slump he's been in (of course, on a day I leave him on the bench!!!), but the Phillies took the time to beat up on Reds pitching while holding the Reds to six runs for the whole series (although the Reds did take the first game 2-1).

Giants 2, D-Backs 1 - Bonds hits #740, and at this rate, the quandary for Selig and Hank Aaron will be arriving in early June. Lost in the Bonds shuffle would be Matt Cain, who mowed down Arizona hitters for a complete game three-hitter.

Angels 6, Mariners 1 - Ervin Santana had an "on" day this time, giving up one run over seven innings as the Halos sweep the M's. Jeff Weaver is now 0-3, and actually lowered his ERA from the 15 range down to high 13 with this outing. Wonder how much he misses the National League right now...

Braves 9, Mets 6 - The Mets starting pitching may not be as much of a problem as we think. Reliever Aaron Heilman is the one who coughed up the second home run to Kelly Johnson in the eighth inning, and the three-run jobs are the ones that kill. Ask Scott Schoenweiss, who also gave up a three-run jack to Edgar Renteria an inning earlier to allow the Braves back in. At this rate, the Mets are living OK without Pedro. It's getting to Billy Wagner that they should be concerned about.

Stealing Signals: Dayum, Dude.

Yankees 8, Indians 6 - You just can't shrug it off with a yawn any more and let it be, not when Alex Rodriguez keeps hitting every ball he sees out of the damn park. But we'll see if this keeps up, because the whole world will buzz (or at least the East Coast) with the first Yanks-Red Sox series of the season getting underway Friday night.

Dodgers 8, Rockies 1 - Mark Hendrickson fills in ably for the disabled Jason Schmidt, handling the Rockies' lineup in 5+ before turning it over to the pen.

Cubs 3, Braves 0 - Every North Side baseball fan is in love with Rich Hill right now after he shuts down the Braves to go 3-0 with an 0.41 ERA.

Mets 11, Marlins 3 - El Duque strikes out 10, Carlos Beltran goes 4-6 with a homer, David Wright extends that hit streak to 26 games, and even Ramon Castro gets in on the action while filling in for Paul Lo Duca with a homer and three RBIs.

Stealing Signals: Serves Me Right For Talking Ish.

White Sox 6, Rangers 0 - Figures. I slag on Mark Buehrle in yesterday's edition and he goes out and throws a no-no, giving up only a walk to Sammy Sosa in the fifth, and then picked him off.

Mets 9, Marlins 2 - John Maine was trying to join Buerhle, but Miguel Cabrera broke up that no hit bid in the seventh, and Joe Burchard hit a two-run homer. Mets fans are still waiting for the franchise's first no-no, but with the pitching issues going into the season, we'll take seven innings of two-run and two-hit ball from Maine.

A's 3, Angels 0 - No Vlad + no Kendrick = no bats for the Angels. Seven scoreless for Dan Haren.

Giants 6, Cardinals 5 (12 innings) - Barry adds #738 to the total, and Rich Aurilia knocks in the game-winning hit after three innings of quality relief from Giants rookie Jonathan Sanchez, which means there is at least one highlight for the SF bullpen.

Yankees 9, Indians 2 - A-Rod homers again. Yawn. 12 games out of 13 with an extra base hit, nine home runs leading the majors, .365 batting average. None of it came against the Red Sox, though. So there.

Nationals 5, Phillies 4 - After Charlie Manuel challenged a sportswriter to a fight last night, it's clear the Phillies couldn't buy a break if they were sold down at the corner store for a buck. Losing to the hapless Nats on a sacrifice fly in the 13th inning marks the beginning of the Manuel Hot Seat watch. I'm betting on "fired by July."

Twins 5, Mariners 3 - Notable solely for the held breath of every Mariner fan as ace Felix Hernandez leaves early, hurt after only retiring one batter and giving up two runs.