Thursday, January 04, 2007

musical chairs for 2007.

With the scuttlebutt on the eBay tubes being that the Gargoyle Art Shell is one-and-done in his reunion tour with the Raiders and their Commitment to Excrement, this is as good a time as any to shake out the mess that is head coaching and front office moves after the end of the regular season in the NFL.

(Modified at 8:22 Pacific to reflect that Cowher is good as gone.)

Denny Green (sadly, ending the Dennis Green Survival Rating at the Big Picture)
Jim Mora - He's got plenty of time now to try and get Ty Willingham fired at U-Dub.
Art Shell - I enjoy the Art Shell Face as much, if not more, than Bill Simmons. You could probably commit some horrid act against his family and he wouldn't flinch.

Nick Saban - good luck with those nutcase Bama fans, bud; you won't be coaching in the pros again any time soon (top one-liner goes to the Big Lead: "The Lions wouldn't touch you with Millen's dick.")
Bill Cowher - the Chin will resign tomorrow afternoon (morning, in my case). I have nothing snarky to say. No coach will spend 14 years as the head of a team again. Just the way the league works now.

Surprisingly secure in their jobs as of now:
Jon Gruden - someone should have his spleen checked too.
John Fox - nice going, all of you who had Carolina going deep in the playoffs.
Romeo Crennel - then again, look at the personnel he has to work with; it is the Clowns.
Jack Del Rio - when the team plays down to its competition, that's on the coach.
Matt Millen - that sound you hear is that of Lions fans slitting their wrists en masse envisioning him picking #2 this year and of course, screwing it up. The Ford family runs their pro team as badly as they run their car company.

Status in flux:
Tom Coughlin - Even money says he's fired if he gets beat by the Eagles.

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