Saturday in the end zone.

A good four-hour, slug-em-out contest between Michigan and Ohio State lived up to the billing, and ended in a 42-39 OSU win, despite the repeated attempts by ABC and ESPN to turn it into an "instant classic," well-aided by Brent Musberger's fluency in cliche and Bob Davie's repeated examples of why not one Div. I-A school has offered him a head coaching job since being forced out by the Golden Domers. Troy Smith locked up the Heisman despite an INT and two bad snaps.

The aforementioned Fighting Irish Republican Army completed its devastating guerrilla campaign against our nation's proud service academies by exploding into the Green Zone repeatedly after an opening field goal by the cadets. The Army hoped to make inroads with the infantry on the hostile soil held by the Papist insurgents, but sadly, you go to war with the army you have, not the one you want. By the fourth quarter, the game analysts were questioning for a pull-out of the first line, while General-Coach Bobby Ross decided to stay the course. Sheik Weis, hoping to win the big prize offered by the BCS Caliphate against OSU in the Arizona desert, ran up the score.

Despite ESPN's assertions that the Maryland-BC game was over by the end of the first half, it is your humble host's opinion that it was over when Maryland's offense had the ball three times before BC's offense even snapped the ball once in the first quarter -- two fumble recoveries for TDs early on made it a 14-0 lead, and they took it 38-16.

Cal at SC is about to start, and rumor has it Erin Andrews is on the sideline tonight (yes, yes she is.). I want to throttle the analysts who are talking about a Michigan-OSU rematch in the championship game.