the seats in the theatre will be sticky.

Rumor has it that Eva Longoria and Beyonce Knowles will be the stars in an American adaptation of the novel Tipping the Velvet, which is about an 1890s lesbian love affair between a male impersonating dance hall star and a fishmonger's daughter (it was also a very good BBC mini-series last year.)

Observe the pictures again, then consider the inevitable: if this movie is made, it will be a must-see in theatres, no matter how crappy it is (and it could be; I don't like Sofia Coppola much as a director, but I'd go watch this). Those exact same aspects could entice you to wait for the DVD, and avoid any uncomfortable messes within the nooks and crannies of theater seats, which are nasty enough anyway without the likely mess of tissues, lotion, and Vaseline that this will attract from various sick fucks.

Hat tip to the News Blog for this one.

(You have no idea how hard it was to write this without cracking an obvious joke about female anatomy.)