what's your playoff pleasure?

Wild Card Weekends are sick things, especially because they run smack dab in the middle of the college bowl season, and it's not like I'm not already enough of a shut-in when this time of the year rolls around (I'm lucky I'm getting out to drink tonight.) This is one of the weekends that justifies my "unlimited long distance" on the phone bill, as I will be on the phone with several friends plus my dad for most of the game action. NBC has the Saturday doubleheader this year, and CBS and Fox will do their games on Sunday. So, with that in mind, let's get to the calls:

KC (+7) at Indy - If Ron Dayne is running roughshod over your defense, you got problems. Larry Johnson will have a huge game. The question is whether Trent Green and KC's wideouts show up, because this will probably be the most fun game to watch (read: no defense on either side of the ball.) I'm taking KC and the points because this game will come down to field goal increments, and I'm rooting for them to win outright 31-27. Only Cro-Mag Peyton Manning can make me root for the fucking Chiefs to win.

(SPECIAL PROGRAMMING NOTE: Yours truly will be live-blogging this game over at AwfulAnnouncing tomorrow afternoon, so stop by and join in the fun.)

Dallas at Seattle (-3) - I'm not sure I even want to watch this game; I think it has the possibility to be very ugly. Matt Hasselbeck has only "off" or "on"; there's no middle, and there could be errant passes. The Cowboys wideouts are suffering from individual cases of butterfingers and Tony Romo isn't exactly looking quite so beatified lately. However, Seattle's secondary has been made non-existent due to injury. Dallas doesn't have a pass rush if its name isn't DeMarcus Ware. I sense at least six turnovers total in this game. Seattle wins at home, 24-20.

Jets (+8.5) at Patriots - Giving an 8.5 line to this Pats team is a mistake. That said, the score might be closer than the actual game. Tom Brady looks human lately and Chad Pennington has held it down, plus he actually has a good pair of receivers, while Brady has the better running backs. No Richard Seymour chasing down Pennington makes it even more likely that the Jets cover, but cover doesn't get you playing the Ravens. Patriots, 20-14.

Giants at Eagles (-7) - This is the opposite. Tom Coughlin loses his job after losing by 10 and Philly fans will agonize over whether Jeff Garcia should actually start for them while Westbrook plays up to his talent. NY media will go nuts when Mongoloid #2 underperforms yet again after the Philly defense gets blitz-happy and racks up the sacks. Over/under on picks for Eli: 2. Eagles 27, Giants 17.