naming your new baby.

As someone subject to what used to be an unorthodox first name in the U.S. (now everyone's copping it), the extravagances and whims of celebrities when it comes to gracing their children with the names they will have forever is a funny thing: B-list TV host and actress (yet A-list hottie) Brooke Burke decided to name her daughter with has-been actor David Charvet (you're a has-been actor if your main credit is "dude on Baywatch who isn't Hasselhoff") Heaven Rain Charvet.

Look, far be it for me to advise a total piece of dripping sex how to name her kids, but this has been problematic long before Gwyneth Paltrow somehow got the idea that naming a daughter after fruit was a good one. Naming a kid Apple, Heaven, Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (thank you, Michael Hutchence!), or any other such sort is asking for therapy bills.

I should note that, as I ran this story on the entertainment block of the show today, the graphics guy commented on how long it took him to find a photo of Ms. Burke suitable for use (we do said block of stories with a large graphic)

GFX dude: "Took me 15 minutes to find something...what's the term...not in various stages of undress."
Me: "Does that include the time you spent flogging or is that separate?"