Mr. Hard Luck himself.

Kerry Wood can't catch a break. Well, yeah, he can.

The injury prone Cub will delay his throwing off the mound due to slipping and falling on his chest and stomach after getting out of the hot tub, possibly the most bizarre way to hurt yourself since Rockies SS Clint Barmes broke his collar bone lugging some deer meat.

Kerry, if you're gonna slip and fall, at least blame it on something that seems either dangerous or at least less silly. Jeff Kent took the wrong tack by trying to claim his wrist injury a few years back was from washing his truck instead of from motorcycle riding (mostly to avoid a contract clause about it, I believe.) Do the opposite. Establish that it was something fun, important -- maybe you were hitting the ATV, hunting, out shooting, whatever -- but falling out of a hot tub? All Cubs fans will sigh, "Here we go again" anyway; why not at least give a good excuse?

I look forward to the first report of this injury in any sport: "Groin pull -- too much sexing."